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  1. I was once staying with a friend who was going to be out when I arrived. She left a note on the door: “valuedminority, key is under mat” with an arrow pointing down.

    I can just see the burglar: “Oh, that note isn’t for me. I shouldn’t be rude.”

  2. The twist: that key doesn’t unlock the door. It merely unlocks a small puzzle box, which in turn contains a clue to the passcode for the shed. The shed contains multi-colored blocks, which when arranged as though they are birthstones by month, releases a latch which gives you the spare car key. The house key is under the back-right floor mat.

  3. Okay I actually get that joke other than the visual reference. Looking at unnamed router manufacturer.

    Also don’t store onions and potatoes together; they tend to eat each other.

  4. So the combination is one, two, three, four, five. That’s the stupidest combination I’ve ever heard in my life! That’s the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

  5. That’s not actually the doormat it’s under, it’s a thing that’s supposed to go under the doormat to keep it from getting wet or slipping. If the mat itself was in place it would be actually hidden.

  6. For the longest time I stared at this picture trying to understand the joke, because I didn’t realize this was a key under the rug and thought this had some thing to do with programming and “0s” and “1s”

  7. I work at a vet hospital and we got a new practice management software made by a big name veterinary reference laboratory. There’s a program that goes with it to view images like x rays, CT scans, etc. You need to pay extra for that program but you can login as an admin to test it out. I wanted to give it a shot to view a patient’s CT before I realized there was a built in program that came with the images, and I figured I would try out the other program. I thought, “there’s no way that the username and password are both admin.” Well wouldn’t you know it, a multi billion dollar company with programs that cost thousands doesn’t have good password protection.

  8. “FOR THE LAST TIME GARY THAT”S NOT A FUCKING ROCKK! people can see it. this is how you do it.”

    *places under a glass frame*

    “but isnt it still visible?”

    “tch tch. gary you’re so dimwitted. the glass’s bottom is very sticky so as a result, you can’t lift the glass of the ground. thus you can’t get the key. that ever satisfying feel where victory is right there but it’s only one impossible step away.”

    “…. but then we can’t get the key too.”

    “oh shit. wait a minute.”


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